Joke of The Day

He Is Risen

Eye Spy Secret Service Agents

I spy, with my little eye, undercover secret service agents.

Yesterday, I picked my son Grant up from school early because he had a doctor’s appointment. As I was driving to the school, I noticed a few odd things along the way, like a broken down car, as well as two snow plow trucks stopped on the side of Highway 370. 

Seeing two snow plow trucks on the side of the road when we were having a heat wave of 45 degrees sends out red flags, are we about to get hit with a storm?

When I saw the old car, I thought of pulling over to see if they needed any help but since it was a man all by himself I decided against it. You can never be too safe. Then when I saw the two snow plows it made my mind race. I was thinking, is there a storm coming through that I don’t know about? That seems odd, since it was 45 degrees outside and not a cloud in the sky. About 20 minutes later I picked Grant up and headed back down Highway 370 toward Bellevue Hospital, once again passing the snow plows and broken down car. We also noticed there were police cars everywhere. When I pulled into the hospital, there were three additional cops standing outside their cars waiting for something. That’s when it hit me. President Obama is in town and this was security for him. I asked Grant if he thought maybe those snow plow drivers were actually undercover secret service agents. 

While Grant was getting a cast, Obama was driving by.

While the doctor was putting a cast on Grant, I got a text from the school saying, “President Obama is visiting a PLHS teacher in Papillion and many roads are closed and traffic is congested. Please be patient as you pick up your children.” 

When we were leaving the hospital, Highway 370 was completely closed. We drove the back roads, to the school to pick up Nathan. As we were driving we were very alert to the possibility of seeing undercover secret service agents. We noticed construction workers standing next to large trucks sort of kicking clods around, and our best catch of the day was an old Ford truck driving directly in front of us on a dirt road. All of the sudden it pulled off to the side of the road and stopped. As we were driving by we saw the man, in a flannel shirt, talking into his “sleeve”.

As soon as we saw Air Force One in the sky, Highway 370 was re-opened.

Immediately following this incident we saw “Air force One” take off in the sky. The eagle has left the building was the only thing we could say. Immediately after we saw the plane in the sky, highway 370 was reopened.

The moral of the story is: we had the best day ever playing Eye Spy.

Joke of the Day

I Before E Except

A little humor goes a long way!

Do You Have a "Drug" Problem?

Drug Problem In Idaho?

This is an email that has been floating around.  I'm not sure where it started, but I found it rather humorous so I thought I would share it...

The other day I was in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and someone asked me a rhetorical question, 'Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?'

 

I replied that I had a drug problem when I was young: I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals. I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather.

 

I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults. I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the priest, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.

I was drug to the kitchen  sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity. I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flower beds. I was drug to the homes of neighbors to help mow the yard, repair the clothesline, and if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, my dad would have drug me back to the woodshed.

Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin: and if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place.

God bless the parents who drugged us!

Pinterest Miss! Jeweled Cell Phone Case

I love How the Case Turned Out
There Is Only One Problem
And It's a Major One...

Over 6 months ago I blogged about all the benefits of making your own jeweled cell phone case.  I actually got into quite a b-dazzle mode and made several different cases.  I loved them and got compliments from people I didn't even know.  It was quite the conversation piece.  Ladies wanted to know where they could buy them and ultimately how to make them.  They are so cheap and easy to make, I understood why so many people were interested in joining the b-dazzle world for themselves. But then, I realized a downside when it came to the amazing world of jewels and cell phones.  It's such a large downside that I have given up on the jewels all together.

The precious little crystals cause interference with the cell phone signal and ultimately make your phone conversations hard to hear or dropped all together.  So it comes with very large regret on my part that I have to announce this DIY project as a major bust.  Sorry one and all for this horrible announcement.

Leather Couch Make-Over DIY

Leather Couch Makeover
DIY

Don't Throw Away Your Old Leather Couch

This DIY makeover will astound you.

UPDATE Dec. 12, 2015

One year later, my sofa is still looking like new.  I didn't use any sealant, it hasn't rubbed off, and there hasn't been a downside.  This really is the best $10 investment I have ever made!

And It's Easy!

It sounds to good to be true, but it really works.

Once you are finished it is as good as new.

The stain does not rub off at all!

I got a new couch for Christmas.  My sectional had been a good piece of furniture but over the years it had been through the ringer and it was time for it to be retired.  A couch can only take so much abuse.  We picked up a new sofa and brought it home, thinking we would retire our sectional to the unfinished basement until we could find a place to throw it out.  The only problem was, we couldn't fit it down the narrow stairs.  Now we were left with a dilemma.  We didn't have room for two sets of furniture on the main floor so the formal living room furniture had to me moved to the basement to make room for the worn out sectional until I could get it hauled away. 

The next morning I was looking at the sectional and all the trouble it had.

The leather had been worn down so much it was white in places

When the pieces were not attached it really looked bad.
I hate looking at hardware and torn stuffing.

This part has a recliner, but even it was worn and shabby looking.

There were tears all over the place

This piece was really torn.
I had stitched the arm up previously but it still showed the wear.

One day I decided to try something to make this sectional not look like such an eye sore until I could find a truck to haul it away.

I threw down some cardboard on the floor and got the can of stain I have been staining everything around my house.  It was a Kona color which I love.  I only had about a quarter of a can left, but I figured I might as well give it a try.  If it didn't work it was leftover stain anyway so no loss.

I rubbed the stain on one section of the sofa. 

My $8 can of stain had already done so much for me but why not see if I could stretch it a little bit more.

When I came back into the room a few hours later I realized I loved how it looked.  I let it dry completely for 3 days then I tested it out.  I sat on the couch with a white t-shirt on.  Absolutely nothing rubbed off.  Not even a little bit.

This is when I figured out I was on to something big!

Kona Rust-Oleum Wood Stain
On Leather Works Great!
Apply with an old rag you don't mind throwing away.
Don't forget to wear gloves. Cheap flimsy ones are not recommended.
I found out the hard way. They tear too easy.

I couldn't wait to finish up the entire sectional.
It looks very shiny as if it would stick to your skin.
But it feels exactly like any leather furniture.
Nothing rubs off after it is completely dry.

I stitched all the stuffing back into the arm and stained right over it.

I am amazed at how nice it looks.

It did need two coats of stain before it had the desired look.

I stained right over all the hardware and handles so everything matches

I even stained the metal brackets that hold the sectional together when it is in one piece. Now they don't even show up.

Once the leather dries if feels just like it did before.

I can see no downside to staining leather

I did end up needing to buy another can of stain because the leather soaks up the stain more than wood does, but if I had started with a new can from the beginning I could have done the entire sectional and still had some left over.
Not bad for under $10 bucks.

I love the furniture now!
It is no longer on its way to the dump.

What a great way to Up-Cycle!

Leather Couch Makeover - DIY

http://fiveorlesssteps.blogspot.com/2015/02/leather-couch-make-over-diy.html

Epic Fail- Every once in a while a DIY project goes seriously wrong, But I fixed it and now it's better than ever!

Table Top Had To Be Re-Done

The shellac finish did not work at all.

I updated the original post with the new instructions so you don't make the same mistakes I made.

Step by step video instructions of table glaze project.

http://youtu.be/PPyZ5ffPEfk

How to Fix a Broken Book-Shelf

I love to fix old worn out broken down furniture.  I decided to take on this project on a cold winters day.  My goal was to fix a broken piece of wood without having to go to the store for supplies.  So I used my mind and went to work using only items I could find around the house.

The top had broken off. Take a piece of plastic that is headed for the recycle bin, cut it to fit over the entire piece.  Next glue the plastic in place with either wood glue or liquid nails.  I didn't want to wait until it completely dried to start the next step so I added a little hot glue just to set it in place. 

Place books below to hold the shelf in place until it has completely dried.

The top half was starting to break away as well, so I pulled another piece of flat plastic out of the recycle bin, cut it to size and glued it on.  

Next tear up some brown paper bags into random shapes.

Place the paper in an inch of water

Here comes the fun part!
Put some glue on a paper plate.  I would have used Elmer's glue but I didn't have any so I used wood glue.  Either one works fine.  Dilute with water to a 50/50 ratio.

Dip the wet paper into the glue solution and stick it to the top.
Flatten down with your hands.

After it has dried a little, cut the excess off the edges.
When it has completely dried, rub stain all over the top.
I also went down the sides of the bookshelf.

I liked the way it turned out except the edges were still bothering me.

So I added wood filler to the edges.  After it dries for about 5 minutes, take a wet wash cloth and rub it smooth.  This will eliminate the need to sand it later.  Let it dry completely and then re-apply the stain.
If you are smarter than me you would do this step before you even add the stain to begin with.

The end result is a wonderfully textured bookshelf.

I love the end result

DIY "Stained-Glass" Windows (At least it looks like stained-glass)

It looks like Stained Glass
But It's Actually Window Film

When we moved into our home 3 years ago, I knew going into it that I wanted to redo every single room.  The home was built about 15 years ago and needed updates everywhere.  Our basement is unfinished so we no longer had the luxury of having a designated family room.  Our main room of our house needed to be able to accommodate watching football on the flat-screen tv.  The only problem with flat-screen televisions is the fact that a little bit of glare makes the viewing experience terrible.

My main focus was not on these windows because I knew they would be a huge undertaking so I decided to put a band-aid on the problem for the time being.  Three years have passed and the band-aid project is long past it's due.

Paper Blinds From Bed Bath and Beyond

I taped up paper blinds with double stick tape for a weekend fix, knowing full well this was very temporary.   The main reason this project took so long to come back to was my own indecision.  On the one hand, I wanted to be able to block out the bright sunlight, but yet I still wanted to be able to see out the windows.  Since the windows are so high up it would be impossible to open and close curtains without an electronic system, but the price of this made it out of the budget.

I kept thinking and pondering and finally came up with the perfect answer.  It's called the miracle of "Vinyl Clings."  I have used them in the past so I know they are not too expensive, they help with heating costs and they can hold out the glare.

I watched a few videos made by the vinyl companies that are posted on Home Depot's website and decided my beautiful picture windows were due for their time to shine.

I didn't have the patience to order the window film and then and wait for them to come into the store so I decided to see what they carried in their stock.  It turns out they don't carry a lot, so I drove around until I found the perfect combination.  I went to Lowes, Home Depot, and Menards until I found the vinyls I wanted.

Dated Trim

After removing the paper, I also realized there was one other thing bothering me about the windows.  I hate the dated trim. Oh, don't worry, this was the easiest fix of all. I still had half a can of stain leftover from my kitchen table project, so all the trim could match with only a little effort. Once again I went to work rubbing stain on the wood.



Rather than taping off I used a large sheet-rock putty knife to block the area I didn't want stain on next to the window or the wall. It is especially handy for the floor boards that bud up to carpet. Just push the knife into the carpet and hold it back while rubbing the stain on the floorboards. No stripping required. I did tape the tops of the floorboard because taping there was fast and easy. I just wanted everything done in five steps or less.  My rule of thumb is, if the taping takes too long then it's not worth the effort.  Every time I go to work I make a decision based on easiness.  If it is easier to just cut the paint or stain in with a brush I do it that way, but if taping is easy to do, then it is faster to tape.

I taped the top of the floorboards and used a sheet-rock knife to hold the carpet back and stained the entire room in about 10 minutes. This is so much easier than painting and I love how it turned out.

Look at the difference of the before and after.  The picture above of the trim is what the woodwork looked like throughout the house.  After I added my new stain it made my heart sing with joy.  This was even before I added my vinyl to the windows.  

I even added stain to the stair rail and the front door.  Ok, I promise I will get back to my windows, but sometimes in the middle of a project you realize you need to do additional things to make it all happy.

On the corners I used ARTSCAPE CITY LIGHTS WINDOW FILM which costs about $20.  I needed two of them for my large windows.  For the middle window I used GILA 36-in W x 15-ft L Bronze Heat-Control Adhesive Window Film.  This runs about $45.00.  As you can tell from the picture, you can still see out, but the glare is reduced tremendously.

The application process for the windows is not too hard, but it's not a piece of cake either, especially when you are on a ladder that high up, but remember, it has been 3 years of looking at a set of windows I hated, so the payoff was worth the extra effort.

I love how it all turned out!

Oh, And After All This Staining, I still have a Half a Can of Stain Left.
You Won't Believe What Else You Can Do With a Can Of Stain.
My Best Project of All is Still To Come!!!
You Won't Want to Miss It!

Sorry for shouting, I just get so excited when a plan comes together.