Showing posts with label Parenting Tips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting Tips. Show all posts

Friday, October 30, 2020

Focus on the Good and Bury the Pans



My favorite motto is, "focus on the good and bury the pans." I’m sure you’ve got to be wondering what bury the pans could possibly mean. In order to understand what this is all about, I’m going to tell you a little story about my mother. When she was growing up she didn’t learn a lot of the basic skills she always wanted to know. When she first got married she wanted to make a fabulous dinner for my dad as a surprise. Her first try at cooking consisted of meat, potatoes and gravy. Not exactly a beginners meal, but she didn’t know any better. Well not one thing turned out as she planned. In fact all 3 items were scorched beyond recognition and 3 of her pans were ruined beyond repair.

When you don't know how to cook
And you don't know how to
clean a scorched pan
what do you do?



My mom was so sad and upset. The burned pans stunk up the entire house. She didn’t know what to do, but in her embarrassment, she took the ruined pans and ruined food out to the back yard, dug a hole, and buried them. 

My mom took the ruined pans
and ruined food out to the back yard,
dug a hole, and buried them


Then she just sat down and cried. Oh, how this breaks my heart to think about. We all have times in our lives when metaphorically speaking, we burn the food and the pans. It’s not a matter of if, but when. The question is, what are we going to do about it? My mom decided the only way to learn how to cook, is to humble herself and admit that she didn’t have the skills she so desired. When my dad got home from work, she confessed that the meal she was trying to make didn’t turn out. She asked him if he knew how to cook. Turns out he did. They spent the night bonding and cooking. He taught her how to cook delicious mashed potatoes, and gravy. 

Mashed Potatoes and Gravy


Later on in life, my mom’s gravy became the most coveted commodity. In fact she learned how to cook up masterful meals out of basic ingredients. But in her pride, I don’t think she ever admitted to my dad, that she had buried the pans in the yard. I feel like that is A OKAY. Everyone doesn’t have to see when things don’t go right, but it is a good idea to not give up. 

My mom’s willingness to try and try again has really rubbed off on me. In fact, I’m sure that is why I am such a DIYer. 

diyismyhappyplace


My mom learned how to do everything that needed to be done around the house. She took my little brother to a barbershop and told the barber, she only had enough money for one haircut, but she had a lot of children. She asked the barber if he would teach her how to cut little boys hair. 

I can still remember sitting out in the car
watching through the window
as my mom learned how to cut hair


I can still remember sitting out in the car watching through the window as my mom learned how to cut hair. From that day on, with one little lesson, my mom cut all of our hair. She eventually had 9 children and we all were blessed that she knew how to cut our hair. 

She also realized in order to cloth 9 children, she would need to learn how to sew. Similarly she took one sewing lesson and then worked and tried and failed but eventually became a master seamstress. It didn’t happen overnight. 

In order to cloth 9 children, my mom learned  how to sew


Some of our haircuts and some of our clothes were not top notch, but eventually, in time, her efforts paid off. In fact, she made all the bridesmaid dresses for her daughter’s weddings, and sewed or reimagined 3 wedding dresses. 


If an appliance quit working, she would go to the library, check out a book, and learn how to fix it. 

Aberdeen Public Library



Checked out a book to learn how to repair the vacuum



She started with a vacuum cleaner and over time, she became mechanically minded and even fixed some of our vehicles over the years. 

One day I asked her how she knew how to paint, do electrical, building projects, plumbing, so many other things. She told me, if she didn’t know how to do something, she would find someone who did, then ask them to show her how. Then she would just try and try until she got it right. I’m sure many attempts at projects got buried along the way, but she kept trying. Her, GIVE IT A TRY spirit really rubbed off on her kids. I guess that is why 3 of my siblings have actually built their own homes. I’m not that ambitious, but I will admit there isn’t a single surface inside or outside of my home that I haven’t updated, remodeled and changed. I guess that’s where I get my DO IT YOURSELF ambition. 

I too will try just about anything. If I want it, or like it, I try to figure out how I can build it, create it, reimagine it, or make it, but on a tight budget, just like my mom used to do, but she didn’t have the luxury of youtube how to videos, or home improvement stores or even the Dollar Store. She lived out on a farm, far from stores. She did almost everything on what she could grow, trade, or muster up on her own. 

There is a movie called Apollo 13. It reminds me of my mom and myself. The rocket malfunctions while on a mission. They have to figure out how to fix it based on what they have on the rocket. 

In order to save the rocket,
mission control had to figure out
how to put a square peg into a round hole


Mission control is given the same supplies that are on the rocket and are tasked to figure out a way to put A SQUARE PEG INTO A ROUND HOLE, based on what they have on hand. Many times when I am starting a new project, I try to make it happen with the items that I already have around the house. Or with what I can buy far below the original price. I frequent the local Habitat Restore, second hand stores and dollar stores to get a lot of my supplies especially for home décor projects. 

So now you know my type of DIY. If you would like to follow me and my progress, please follow my blog and my youtube channel. And remember “Focus on the Good and Bury the Pans”



Monday, November 26, 2018

Family Traditions Bind Us Together!

DIY Christmas Stockings



Everyone in the family designs their own stocking



Trees, Snowflakes and Candy Canes are always Beautiful


Sometimes couples coordinate their stockings


Nathan is on a mission so he gets a mission tie.
Grant made a torn stocking look. Anything goes!

I buy the stockings on clearance at the end of the year,
but even full price, they are a great no-sew option


Glitter and glue are the only items we used the first few years.  This year I splurged at the dollar store and got some tiny mirrors and a beaded tie.  Still the entire project was under $20.


Family Traditions Bind Us Together

Stability, purpose and security seem to come in abundance whenever we engage in a family tradition. During the holidays we have a lot of them. Some involve food, games, songs, and telling stories, but one of our favorite traditions is decorating Christmas stockings. Everyone in the family gets together one night a year, and creates our own masterpieces. All you need are some plain stockings, glitter and glue.  We put a piece of plastic down on the table to catch all the glitter as well as using plates and paper, but lets face it, glitter does get everywhere.  My boys call glitter Satan's dust.  They hate it, but only in a joking way.  Let's face it, glitter helps keep us all in the spirit of having fun together and creating memories.  There is nothing like telling a 25 year old son he has glitter on his cheek.  That's a good time!

My sons call glitter Satan's dust, but let's face it,
We all love the look it makes on our Christmas stockings

One of the great things about traditions is that they can live on for generations. It’s never too late to start a new tradition. Creating your own Christmas stockings year after year is something our family looks forward to and talks about for months leading up to our big day.
 
In order for this tradition to be something that can be done in one evening and by all ages and artistic abilities we have decided to keep it simple. I purchase a couple dozen Christmas stockings each year when they go on clearance but even when they are full price they cost under a dollar apiece. Buy some glue and glitter and you are ready to go. Make sure you buy extra stockings because every once in a while the design will go completely wrong and in order to keep the peace in the household it needs to be thrown out and started over.

Our family sits around the kitchen table, with Christmas music in the background and we create our works of art. This year I splurged on a few extra gems and mini mirrors. I got the stickered mirrors and some of the glitter from the dollar store.

This is a tradition I highly recommend!

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Eye Spy Secret Service Agents



I spy, with my little eye, undercover secret service agents.

Yesterday, I picked my son Grant up from school early because he had a doctor’s appointment. As I was driving to the school, I noticed a few odd things along the way, like a broken down car, as well as two snow plow trucks stopped on the side of Highway 370. 

Seeing two snow plow trucks on the side of the road when we were having a heat wave of 45 degrees sends out red flags, are we about to get hit with a storm?

When I saw the old car, I thought of pulling over to see if they needed any help but since it was a man all by himself I decided against it. You can never be too safe. Then when I saw the two snow plows it made my mind race. I was thinking, is there a storm coming through that I don’t know about? That seems odd, since it was 45 degrees outside and not a cloud in the sky. About 20 minutes later I picked Grant up and headed back down Highway 370 toward Bellevue Hospital, once again passing the snow plows and broken down car. We also noticed there were police cars everywhere. When I pulled into the hospital, there were three additional cops standing outside their cars waiting for something. That’s when it hit me. President Obama is in town and this was security for him. I asked Grant if he thought maybe those snow plow drivers were actually undercover secret service agents. 

While Grant was getting a cast, Obama was driving by.

While the doctor was putting a cast on Grant, I got a text from the school saying, “President Obama is visiting a PLHS teacher in Papillion and many roads are closed and traffic is congested. Please be patient as you pick up your children.” 

When we were leaving the hospital, Highway 370 was completely closed. We drove the back roads, to the school to pick up Nathan. As we were driving we were very alert to the possibility of seeing undercover secret service agents. We noticed construction workers standing next to large trucks sort of kicking clods around, and our best catch of the day was an old Ford truck driving directly in front of us on a dirt road. All of the sudden it pulled off to the side of the road and stopped. As we were driving by we saw the man, in a flannel shirt, talking into his “sleeve”.

As soon as we saw Air Force One in the sky, Highway 370 was re-opened.

Immediately following this incident we saw “Air force One” take off in the sky. The eagle has left the building was the only thing we could say. Immediately after we saw the plane in the sky, highway 370 was reopened.

The moral of the story is: we had the best day ever playing Eye Spy.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

I Appreciate the Small and Simple Things In Life




When I was a young girl growing up on a small farm in Idaho, finances were tight. My parents had four children in four years and then one every other year until all nine children were born. I am the third of nine. As I think back on those years, I didn't know then how the struggles at such a young age were actually strengthening me and preparing me to appreciate the small things in life.

Saturday my sons Nathan, Grant and I watched the movie “Karate Kid.” As I was watching it with them, I started to think of the great principle taught. In the movie a young boy named Daniel wanted to learn karate. He asked an old man named Mr. Miyagi to teach him. Mr. Miyagi tells Daniel if he is going to train him, he needs to do whatever he tells him, no questions asked. First Mr. Miyagi has Daniel wash and wax a whole line of cars, all in a particularly unnatural motion using both hands. Wax on right hand, wax off, left hand.



Then he is told to sand a large walkway, paint a huge fence, and finally paint an entire house.  Each new task given, Daniel was told to do the chores in an unusual way.  Finally, when he was almost done with the house, Daniel gets angry.  He thinks he is being taken advantage of as slave labor.  Mr. Miyagi then proceeds to show Daniel all his hard work has actually strengthened him and trained him.  He instinctively is able to do karate because his muscles have been taught the correct movements.

I think growing up with very little has done the same for me.  I was taught, through lots of hard times, how to become stronger.  Even though I am stronger, I have still never forgotten what it felt like to want.  As a very young child, we rarely used the heat in our rented farm house because it cost too much money. We would cut down old trees in the woods or on the farm, haul the wood back to the house, stack it, chop it and heat the house with a wood burning stove.  Just getting the house warm was a lot of work.  

I remember on very rare occasions my mom would turn on the heat in the morning, just until a fire could be built.  We had one floor heat vent in the house.  To me, there was nothing better in the entire universe than standing on that heat vent in my night gown and letting the heat cover my entire body.  My nightgown would balloon out and dance around and the joy from this was immeasurable.  There was only one problem, I also had two other sisters and two brothers who wanted a turn on the same heat vent and the heat would only be on for about 10 minutes, so we would each get about 30 seconds and then it would be time to rotate.

This is the house I grew up in.  It has been renovated, updated and moved onto a new foundation, but it still brings back many memories.


I can remember thinking, when I grow up I want a house with lots of floor heat vents, and I want to sit on the heater until the inside of my soul is warmed up.  To me, that would be an example of pure joy.  Now, all these years later, I still remember the wish of my young childish desire.  I do have a house with a lot of floor heat vents, and I still do not take for granted the absolute joy of sitting on them on a cold brisk morning. Throwing a blanket over me to help direct the heat now takes the place of the nightgown, but the joy is still the same.  I don’t think there will ever come a time in my life that I will not appreciate simple basic things and heat in my house on a cold winters’ day is at the top of my list.

Who’s with me?  Is there anything in the world better than a blanket and a floor heat vent?

The weather outside is cold. 

This picture was taken today out my back window.  BURR!

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Joke of the Day




The thing I love most about children, is their absolute innocence. There are so many times when you misjudge, or get frustrated with a child, when really, they are not trying to be bad. A lot of our trials with children really stem from communication and understanding. At times it would do us all good to slow down and try to remember what life would be like if we didn't know everything we think we know.

I have a great friend who has a child that puts everything in her mouth. I'll call her Lizzy, (names have been changed). We were getting in an elevator and little two year old Lizzy saw some food on the ground and before you could blink an eye, she had it in her mouth. I'm not sure if it was a piece of chicken nugget, or dog food. Either way, to this little girl, it looked as good as anything else she might be asked to eat.

Later on in the evening, she was lucky enough to find some already chewed gum on the ground. In her mind, she figured it looked delicious and interesting so she popped it in her mouth. After her mom told her to spit it out, five minutes later she spotted a discarded cigarette. She felt the need to pick it up and taste it too. This is when my sweet friend recognized the need to stop everything, and get down and look into her sweet child's eyes and explain in detail, on a level she could understand without confusion, why we don't pick everything up and put it in our mouth. What a great teaching opportunity and parenting moment.

Had she punished this little girl at this time, she still would have missed a wonderful teaching opportunity. This same day I witnessed a parent on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. I was standing in line at a store when a father and son who appeared to be about the same age, around two years old, came in. As soon as they entered the store the oxygen in the room seemed to get sucked out. The father was yelling and screaming and calling the poor little guy names. At one point, his phone rang and he talked the same way to who ever was on the other end of the line. I looked at this little boy and he seemed to be mentally crushed and broken. I just wanted to scoop him up in my arms. From my perspective this little guy was expected to follow a set of instructions far beyond his capacity to understand. In the end both the child and the parent were left angry. Neither one was satisfied with the outcome.

I look to the bible for help whenever I wonder how to handle the raising of a child. “For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth” (Hebrews 12:6). I know at times we need to chasten our children.

President Boyd K. Packer has observed that when a person in a position to correct another fails to do so, he is thinking of himself. Remember that reproof should be timely, with sharpness or clarity... and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy.

I love it when I see a parent who does this in such a wonderful manner.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Train Up a Child - Guest Post by Sara Westbrook

Thank you Sara for this wonderful guest post.

You are such an awesome writer and great sister!

I believe in quality time. As the youngest of nine children, time, with my parents, was often in short supply, but my dad still made it a priority to spend time with each of us. Dad worked long hard hours Monday through Saturday which meant he couldn't take me to ice cream or skating at the rink. Instead, he would come home and say, “Sara, come take a ride with me in my pickup.” I would go hop into his fire engine red pickup, that always smelled like pine tree air fresheners, and away we’d go. He was still working when he invited me on these rides, but I didn't mind. It didn't matter where we went or what we did as long as we were spending time together. I loved riding with my dad in the pickup.  
Frequently, when I rode with my dad, he struggled to stay awake.  He got up so early each morning that staying alert was sometimes a tricky endeavor. On those occasions, as dad drove, we sang songs at the top of our lungs.  We sang “Loaded sixteen tons and what do you get, another day older and deeper in debt…” Dad’s booming voice would hit every low note. Often, we talked about the gospel. Dad loved the scriptures and knew them inside and out. I could ask him any gospel question I could think of, when I rode in that pickup, and he always had an answerIn the truck, there were no distractions. We didn't listen to the radio for amusement, we simply entertained each other. 
We usually traveled to a potato field Dad needed to check on. As we tramped across the dusty spud fields trying to keep from tripping on the vines, Dad taught me about potato yields, fertilizer and the importance of not over-watering. But, more importantly, he taught me about hard worklove, and the importance of making time for one another.  He taught me to believe in quality time and to recognize that spending these quiet moments in the pickup and the fields together really equaled big moments. The time spent with Dad, in his truck, allowed me to see what kind of man my father truly was. He took the time, even though he had to work, to get to know me, to teach me, and to love me. He taught me to believe in quality time.